good craic, mama mia and baby spoons

Trust me, I'll be the first one to throw my hands up and admit that over the past few months all I've bitched and moaned about is what has been going on with my mother and I. Sorry guys, but that's not about to stop here. Because to be honest, if I don't fully bitch off here, where can I do it. I mean sure, I can bitch and moan to friend and family and randomers who I causually bump into on the bus home (I don't do the latter btw) but I can't really tell them the whole lot because then I just feel like I'm being self absorbed and what not.

Anyone who knows me (and you don't even have to know me well) will know that I don't exactly tell you everything when you ask me what's wrong, but isn't that usually the case? Isn't there always something you want to keep to yourself, because you don't want other people to know how vunerable you're feeling?

Sure I laugh and joke on about it and everything when I'm talking about things that have upset me with my friends, but that's because if I don't laugh and take the piss, the likely hood is, I'm going to cry, and trust me, you don't want to see me when I cry, it's not the most attractive thing you'll ever see in your lifetime.

But this blog isn't about bitching and moaning about my so called life and blah blah blah, this blog is a big thank you to all the people you have taken the time to notice that when I'm laughing and joking on about the latest thing someone has done to hurt me, that I'm actually really upset about it inside. You know who you are, and I know that you're probably reading this. I don't really do well with expressing emotions in person, so I figured that this is the best way for me to tell you that I appreciate you being there for me, even though we don't really know each other that well

Thank you x

When life was so simple

Fair enough, when this photo was taken it was all stress stress stress.
But looking back now, it wasn't so hard compaired to life today. I would give anything to be going back to that study every morning, even wearing that uniform, rather than having to live my life now.

Everything was so simple back then

Long Time No See / Sound Track Of My Life

Well, it's been a while. Due to the not so recent death of my laptop, i've been finding hard to get access to the internet and therefore being unable to blog, which isn't good because I have so much to talk about!

So, about two weeks ago I started talking to my ex boyfriend again. I know what you're thinking "Why in gods name did you do that?" and the answer to that is, I have absolutly no idea! Seriously, I don't know what possesed me. Maybe it was jelousy that my friend was talking to him, or maybe it's because I couldn't hold back much longer, I guess I'll never know.

I landed myself in a big mess when I asked if he would be intrested in a date with my friend. He said no because he never really got over me. So here I am sitting next to my friend thinking ohpoo,ohpoo,ohpoo!!! What am I supposed to say to her? I tell her he didn't text back. I ended up telling her that He did text back but he said no because he has strong feelings for someone else, I couldn't tell her it was me....

So I went to see the Ex after a few nights of soppy text messages to each other and alot of tears and confusion. I'll spare you the messages because you might just be sick on your computer and I don't want that to happen, but I'll tell you that he said that he still loves me and I still love him.

we went out as just friends and let me tell you, it was good to see him again, and just as a friend too because it cleared my head alot. I still love him, but I have much more important things to be worrying about such as school and college to be worrying about a relationship with my Ex right now.

Anyway, I'm going to get onto my soundtrack for this week, because It seems to me that I've neglected it a little.

10) Northern Downpour - Panic! at the Disco

9)What Your Boyfriend Said - Little Man Tate

8)Lithium - Nirvana

7)Poker Face - Lady Gaga (the one on live lounge, not the origonal)

6)Love Song - Four Years Strong

5) Turn It Off - Paramore

4)Same Jeans - The View

3)Read My Mind - The Killers

2)I don't care (this is why we can't have nice things) - The Blackout

and the song of the week this week is....

1) New Shoes - Paolo Nutini

I absolutly love this song, it is like the ultimate feel good song. I just love paolo nutini in general because he has an amazing voice I less than 3 him (l)

and the song of shame this week is....

Party In the U.S.A - Miley Cyrus.
Seriously girl, grow up!

AND stop posting raunchy phtots of yourself on the internet if you want to be respected as a person you just don't do that, it's not right, your supposed to be a girl that smaller girls look up to and be all, "One day I'm gonna be just like Hannah Montana". Yeah I wouldn't want to be like you thanks.

My week 7th october-11th october

7th October 09

12:08 Noon

Swimming changing rooms

I'm so dissapointed in myself. I could have swam so many more lengths but I caved into my Asmah! GAH! I'm so peeved.

J finally brought back my Twilight DVD but he forgot Hairspray....AGAIN!

I have had many compliments on my hair today, although I'm not entirly sure why. I havn't even bothered to brush it properly so It's rather wavey.

Have had terrible cramp all day and I'm feeling a bit sick. It's nearly Dinner time but I'm not going to eat much because I need to lose some weight. I will stick to my diet this time and do it properly.

Thought that I was geting over M, but who am i kidding? I'm failing miserbly!

10th October09

10:32pm

bedroom at mam's

I'm sick of my mother now like. She's been in a bad mood with me for the past few days because apprenly I'm inconsiderate. I don't think I'm inconsiderate. I think I'm very considerate.

Was watching The X Factor. I think Danni and Cheryl were bang out of order by bringing up things that were in the newspapers. Cheryl was slagging off Kandy Rain for the way they were dressed. Yes, okay, they were dressed very provocitvly and they were in the newspapers for being strippers and stuff, but to be fair, it's a talent compition not a reveiw of the news.

Danni made a comment about Danyl's sexuallity which she really had no right to do.

I slept at Gracie's last night with another friend. We basicly played on batman and ate cold pizza for breakfast, as you do.

On the phone to Shanny and Amy, They want me to include them in my story, I might consider it.

11th October 09

6:53pm

bedroom at mam's

Bobby Shafto Went to Sea

Silver buckels on His Knee

He'll come back and Marry me

Bonny Bobby Shafto

Myself and th famly went to Whitworth Hall today for snday lunch. T'was lovely. I fed the deers that roamed the grounds. They were very cute and Two deers seemed to take a liking to me because they wouldn't let the other deers come neer me for the food.

Mam is a much better mood today. Had to do some major ass kissing. Told her she looked very pretty this morning before we left and pretended to be interested in the wedding fare at Whitworth. I was only really interested in the photography stalls and the owl that is trained to deliever the rings to the best man.

I have been told by my step-father that I'm going insane because I talk to inanimate objects such as the iron, the phone and plants, I also talk to deers and myself. I Explained to him that I'm not going isane, I was born this way.

So, Bobby Shafto. Apprently he never went to sea, he was a member of parliment. Confuzzeled? Yeah I was too. I think he lived some where and fell in love, but then moved elsewhere leaving his love behind. He then married some other lady for her money and had children to her. He then left parliment and the other MPs made up the Bobby Shafto Ryme to taunt him and it kinda stuck, so yeah, theres a useless fact