Oh Brother...

It hit me today that no matter how old you are, and whatever the curcumstances, you always need your siblings.
They're are the ones that share your life with you, good times and bad. They'll be in pretty much every chapter of your life, heck, some chapters might even be all about them.

I have two brothers. My first being Matthew, the brother to which this blog is dedicated. I couldn't have asked for more of him today. When I needed him, he was there. We cried together, and for he first time in a long time, we hugged. Today was the day I left home. I went to my mother's to collect my things and transfer them to my dad's where I am living now.
Now, I'm not going to go into details to why I have moved out, but we can safely put it down to an argument that got out of hand.
I'm not going to try to make myself seem like the victim in all this, because I'm not completely innocent, I have my faults and I put my hands up and admit that. But anyway, Matthew helped me carry my things to the door, even when our mother was telling him to leave me, and he even stood between us as we screamed at each other and tried to stop us arguing.

The only words I clearly remember from today's ordeal was the words he spoke to me before I left the house. We were both crying, although in very different ways ( I was sobbing quite hard without bothering to try to hide it because come on, what was the point, and he was being all manly about it, trying to not let it show ) and we were waiting for my dad's car to turn around when he said,
"Just promise me one thing...You'll look after Joseph the way you looked after me"
That one sentence still brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat everytime I stop to think about it. It broke my heart to drive away from him, but I had to, otherwise I would never have done it.

I know I'll still see him, of course I will, and who know's, maybe not seeing each other so often will help us stop arguing all the time.
So, Matt, if you ever read this, Thank You for being there for me all the times I've needed you, and thanks for not holding grudges, and I know I never tell you, but I do actually love you, believe it or not :P

x

For A Pessimest, I'm Pretty Optimistic (:

Have just been told by my mother that's I'm the biggest pessimest she's ever met (besides herself), so I basicly laughed at her and said, "For a pessimest, I'm pretty optimistic". She just looked at me all weird and said, "Do you have to have an aswer to everything?" I nodded and made my way to my room, where I sat on my bed and opened my blog and started blogging.

So, what to blog about?

Hmmmm, I could tell you about my work expericence which I'm not even sure I've got yet.

Or I could tell you how much I hate my brother and the reasons why.

Or I could tell you what I did in my double music lesson today.

You know what? I'm going to blog about all of them!!

Awesome huh?

Well, Work experience, Probably the most stress a fifteen year old will have to go through. I thought that I had a deffinate placement at a special needs school, which I was really looking forward to going to because I really want to be a primary school teacher. So I phone the lady who said she would give me the placement, but it turns out I need to hand in a coverage letter (what ever that is) and my connections form and even then its not an absulute deffinate that I'll get to go there "/ How annoying please?

So If I don't get it, I'm screwed because I have hardly any time to get another placement sorted!!

This is why my mother was calling me a pessimest because I'm convinced that I won't get it, and she's saying that I will, but I'm not convinced, I never get in anything, so why should this be any different?

Right then, My borther. Well, he was grounded for getting a detention, and he wasn't meant to be aloud out for a whole week. He's gone out tonight with my mother's premission!!

See, if it was me, I would have been grounded for the whole week, no 'buts', 'ifs' or 'ors'.

Not that it makes much of a difference to me because I don't like going out on weeknights, I prefer to stay in and make sure I've got all my homework ready, my bag pack for school and my uniform where I can find it.

But ditzy little matthew doesn't do this, he gets detentions, gets into fights, does nothing around the house and then gets let out to go skating with his friends and doesn't come home till late...and he's only 13!!

Me, I hardly ever get detentions, I never get into fights, I do more than my fair shair around the house and the only time I was aloud out during the weeks was to go out with my boyfriend on friday nights, and now that I'm single again I don't even get to do that, and I'm nearly sixteen for heven's sake!!

Okay, Rant over.

Music, Jake abondend me (much to my missery) and left me to compose the song we're writing on my own, and you know what, I actually progressed, alot. I wrote all the lyrics and I was planning on letting him come up with the music, but you'll never guess (with the help of mrs.B, thanks miss (: ) I finshed the music to the first verse and bridge and I'm now starting on the coures (:

I feel very musical. For once, I feel like my brain is really being put to use, Its amazing!!

So yeah, Enough of my random rambleing, anyone fancy a chat, about anything at all, just drop me a comment and I'll get back to you when ever I can.