I wish I could tell you this.

Dear Mam,
Is it really too much to ask to be treated the same as my brother? I know before I moved out I said that I felt second best to him, and the past 4 weeks has reenforced that feeling.

It might seem selfish, or petty, but why didn't you take me out for my birthday? Why didn't you even phone me. All I got was a text, and that was it.
Please don't spin the bullshit that you spent a lot on my birthday. I know my Driving licence was expensive, but you gave my brother that exact amount in money and you took him out for his birthday.
Matthew says that I can't have the best of both worlds, and I would get that if he got the same treatment, but he doesn't. You took him out for his birthday, and when he came over to dads, dad took him out for his birthay. Am I being selfish to want that aswel?

And as for not inviting me to matthew's birthday due. At first, I was pissed off, but now I'm just plain hurt, because you of all people, you, who I spent god knows how long complaining to when Dad took matthew to the football and left me on my own, should know how upset I get when I'm deliberatly excluded. It hurts and you didn't even think to text me to let me know of the plans.

I know that I should probably phone you, or text you to explain all this to you, because despite having all these issues with you, you're still my mother and I still want to have a realtionship with you, but why can't you pick up the phone and do it. After all, I'm still your daughter and you still want to have a relationship with me. I'm sick of being the one to make the effort to get in contact only to have it thrown back into my face.

Do you know how shit it makes you feel watching every girl in your class getting texts off their mothers wishing them luck for the exams and being the only girl staring blankly at her phone, just waiting for it to flash with a good luck text, and still be waiting for it after the exam thinking that it might just be network delay?

Why did you have to take the piss out of my dyslexia at christmas and new year?
Why did you have to degrade me?
Why did you have to hurt me?

from
your daughter