Because I'm not pathetic or anything like that...

In english today we watching "infamous" which is about Truman Capote's journey writing "in cold blood" which is a rather good book. I'd done a bit of background research before watching it, because I basically want to have some sort of insight to what influences Capote's writing, and I'm not ashamed to say, I actually cried twice at said movie.
It was just so sad! so so sad.
I won't ruin it for you incase you do decide to watch it, but it was amazing.
I'll just leave you with this image. Yes, that is Daniel Craig kissing Toby Jones :P

Kids these days...

....Yet again I haven't exactly remained loyal to my blog...mainly because I've been doing a vlog and I've been so busy with college and work and stuff, I haven't really found the time to blog, which sucks.
So I have a few things to update on since the last time I blogged.
I recently found out i'm dyslexic, therefore if my spelling or grammar is really bad, then I'm not having a bad day, so I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to forgive me :D

so, first things first.
This is just a small shout out to Rebound girl, if your reading this, hi, now please, stop stalking my blogs, I like that people are reading my blogs, don't get me wrong, I like that you're interested, however, interested for a whole different reason, now please, stop reading my blog, and stop lying to me, and stop contacting me, I want nothing more to do with you.
You know who are.

Anyway....
TIM MINCHIN!
ON SATURDAY!
ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so excited, like really really excited, that man is gorgeous, if I don't marry M , or Hailey Williams, then I'm marrying Tim Minchin.
not only am I seeing him, but I'm sitting like 4 rows from the front, and I'm not going to wear shoes, just for the irony :LL

anyhoooo I'm off because I'm watching my Tim Minchin Ready For This dvd :)
go buy it...or illegaly download it, whatever I don't care, just watch it, it's amazing :)

love you
xxx

Oh Brother...

It hit me today that no matter how old you are, and whatever the curcumstances, you always need your siblings.
They're are the ones that share your life with you, good times and bad. They'll be in pretty much every chapter of your life, heck, some chapters might even be all about them.

I have two brothers. My first being Matthew, the brother to which this blog is dedicated. I couldn't have asked for more of him today. When I needed him, he was there. We cried together, and for he first time in a long time, we hugged. Today was the day I left home. I went to my mother's to collect my things and transfer them to my dad's where I am living now.
Now, I'm not going to go into details to why I have moved out, but we can safely put it down to an argument that got out of hand.
I'm not going to try to make myself seem like the victim in all this, because I'm not completely innocent, I have my faults and I put my hands up and admit that. But anyway, Matthew helped me carry my things to the door, even when our mother was telling him to leave me, and he even stood between us as we screamed at each other and tried to stop us arguing.

The only words I clearly remember from today's ordeal was the words he spoke to me before I left the house. We were both crying, although in very different ways ( I was sobbing quite hard without bothering to try to hide it because come on, what was the point, and he was being all manly about it, trying to not let it show ) and we were waiting for my dad's car to turn around when he said,
"Just promise me one thing...You'll look after Joseph the way you looked after me"
That one sentence still brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat everytime I stop to think about it. It broke my heart to drive away from him, but I had to, otherwise I would never have done it.

I know I'll still see him, of course I will, and who know's, maybe not seeing each other so often will help us stop arguing all the time.
So, Matt, if you ever read this, Thank You for being there for me all the times I've needed you, and thanks for not holding grudges, and I know I never tell you, but I do actually love you, believe it or not :P

x

I am not proud of myself AT ALL

I have nothing to be proud of to be honest. I've spent the last few days feeling sorry for myself, watching Sex And The City and lying on the sofa thinking about getting a job. I did do a CV and filled out a couple of application forms, but right now I can't bother myself to do anything.
I have to go to my mother's tomorrow and collect a couple of my things. Oh yeah, I should explain that. I've been kicked out and am currently living with my dad. It isn't as bad as it seems, I've had a lot of support off by friend's, without them, I would be completely fooked, which wouldn't be good.
I'm bricking it for tomorrow I really am, I don't know how she's going to react to me showing up there.
Also, I know this is going to sound silly, but I've been having bad dreams about getting bad results on result day. If I don't do well, I'm going to be so dissapointed. I'm not bothered about french, I know I'm going to fail that any way, so I'm not all too bothered, but my Grandad was saying ealier this week "I bet you get A's in everything" Talk about pressure.
So that got me thinking
Why does people's opinions matter so much?
They shouldn't really, We should do our best for our selves, not because someone else says we should be good at something. Really, we should aim to acheive our own goals, not the goals out parents or friends set for us. Maybe if we did that we wouldn't feel so dissapointed if we don't achieve the goals we set, because then we're only letting our selves down and not everyone else, and I think that's why people get upset when they don't do as well as predicted, because they care too much about what other people thing of them.
So all I can say in conclusion is that in future we should set realistic goals for ourselves, and not set them because others tell us that we should be achieving more

Seriously, you guys puzzle me!

What is it with you guys out there? Why do you insist on confuzing me beyond belief? I'm only one girl, I can't work you out on my own, and I'm pretty sure that if I and all the other girls in the world should team up we still wouldn't be able to understand you'se!

So what's brought this on you may ask, well, I was at a spectacular wedding yesterday, I had a brilliant time, I enjoyed being with my friend, meeting new people and you know, general wedding stuff. My friend has a new Step-Brother(lets call him PBoy), he's an awesome guy, funny, chatting, he can sing and I know neither he or my friend will mind me saying that he is a looker. He is also in a relationship.

Like all Relationships, his is facing what may be classed as a bit of a problem, but it's clear he still loves his girlfriend very much, and she loves him in return. However, My friend has a cousin(lets call her EGirl), who is in no way blood related to the guy in question. She's very pretty, very funny and a good laugh to be around, I can't say I know her well seeing as I only met her last night, but she made a good first impression and I thought she was a nice enough girl.

When back up in our room at about 2am (EGirl had gone home by this point)PBoy confessed that he had a bit of a school boy crush on EGirl. Fair enough right? Everyone is allowed to have a bit of a crush on someone their not with, as long as you stay completely faithful to your partner. That when PBoy said something that shocked me to my core. I won't repete what he said, but I wasn't impressed at all. I didn't want to tell him that I didn't think what he was talking about wasn't fair, because lets face it, I'm a whimp, but yeah.

How can you be so happy in a relationship, so in love, then considering doing something that could potentally ruin your life? It seems stupid. I know that it's not only guys that do that, so please don't think I'm being baised, because I know girls can pretty much screw up there relationships with decent guys by making silly decisions, I just don't understand it myself.

Also, somemthing that is bugging (and if someone, ANYONE, can help me understand this I would be very grateful) My boyfriend bought me an amazing gift the other day, I was so happpy I nearly cried when I was in the house on my own. He sent tme lovely texts and told me he loved me right up until I fell asleep. Then the next day he blanked all my texts, he didn't bother trying to get in touch, it just seemed like he really couldn't give a damn. I don't know what he means by it, and just URGH!


Anyway,
Au reviour
Mes Amis

J'adore Tu (:
xxx

Secrets are meant to be told, and Promises are made to be Broken

So this weekend hasn't been as bad as I inntaially thought it would be, you see, I have been pretty much kicked out of my house again and being made to stay at my Father's house until Monday, because apperently Mother Dearest "needs a break" and "he can look after you for a change."
Maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed with this if I had been told to my face, but you see I got it Via text, honestly, the text said

"You are both (meaning me and my brother) staying at dads til Monday, i need a break he can look afta yous for a change."

How loved do I feel please? I guess what annoyed me the most is that my mam and her fiance went to york for the weekend two weeks ago, leaving me and brother behind. So, Yeah, parents need a break once in awhile, they may feel the need to load the kids onto the grandparents or the father or someone, and just go away for a weekend and relax, but you see, my mother and soon to be step-father go away alot, not far, to york, or durham, sometimes wales, but it's been five-six years since me and my brother have been on holiday with our mam (we went on holiday with our dad last year for the first time, but mam just goes with her fiance).

So maybe I sound selfish? I guess I do, but just once, it would be nice to be included in my mother's plans. I know where this is all comming from by the way. Me and my mam had an argument on thuesday, which lasted till thursday, and then we were good up until saturday when she decided to get rid of us.

This is were the title of the blog comes in.
Secrets are meant to be told
Well, the last time me and my mam had a major argument, I went to stay with my dad for a while, and while I was there he told me many things that my mam hadn't told me. Like how she stopped my dad from seeing me and my brother for like 6-8 weeks, and the abusive texts she had sent him, things that I was too young to remember. What hurts the most is that she lied to for all these years, like she always told me that she had never stopped my dad seeing me, and that all the times he hadn't seen me it was all his fault, when in truth, they were just as bad as each other.

Promises are made to be broken
This may seem petty to you, but to me It's a big thing. About a year or so ago my mam and soon to be stepfather went to wales, and they told me about a big Doctor Who musem that they wanted to take me to, because I'm a huge Doctor Who geek ^^
Well, later that day me and my mother were talking and I told her how much I would like to go to the musem, and she promised that sometime after christmas that year that just me and her would to wales and she would take me to the musem. Well she never did, and it hurt me that she broke that promise, because all I really wanted to do was spend a long weekend with just my Mam, because we never really get to do that....

So yeah, That was a pretty pointless rant, but I really wanted to blog about it, because I don't know if I'm just being petty or I do infact have every right to be a little pished off?
So have you ever been lied to, or had an important promise broken?
I know I won't get many answers to my questions, I never really do, but it would be nice if I got a couple of comments :)

anyway
ttfn mes amis (: x

I REALLY NEED TO STOP DOING THAT

I promise myself that I'm going to blog regually...and then I don't, and then I dissapoint myself ):
silly me
So yeah, how's things fellow bloggers?? I have to tell you, things aren't so great here, but I'm not going to mope about because that never ever gets me anywhere, and I always annoy myself (and others) when I mope.
Instead I will play hours and hours of just dance, because as I found out yesterday, by tiring myself out with physical exercise like dancing like a loonie for hourrrrrrrrrrs I tend to forget what I'm supposed to moping about, untill I go to bed and then I remember, but then I end up worrying myself to sleep, and the next morning I'm too tired to care about anything (:

Can I ask, what do you do to chill yourself out or forget things??
Also, this blog has a special shout out for my good friend Grace, She did something very nice today and it made me smile alot and feel a bit better about what I was moping about (They don't have just dance in school so I couldn't dance myself into a coma). Grace came up to me, hugged me, and gave me a big bar of chocolate, the only thing that was missing was her bed (Don't get the wrong idea, I tend to sleep at Grace's house alot and I have adopted her bed because it's just so damn comfortable) and her iTunes. Then she made me talk about it, and that was good also, because I hadn't really spoke to anyone about it, aside from Lou Lou but then we were outside so I couldn't really break down and tell her everything, and Lou Lou doesn't handle crying very well :P no offence Lou Lou (:

anyway...what are your plans for the rest of this week my dearies??

ttfn mes amis
xx

I neglect my poor blog ):

I don't mean to I swear, I just do ): Not that anyone reads these things anyway, but yeah whatever.
Right well, I'm going back out with The Ex, needless to say, my mother isn't happy, she had a good ol' rant about him and how I'm an Idiot and how he's no good and stuff, but yeah, it's my choice and stuff isn't it? So yeah...
Will someone please tell louise that she has to go to prom? She just has to!!!
Oh yeah, and My plea to Cute Geek Guy to get him to go to prom (okay, I know that makes me sound terribly desspirate, but I wasn't asking for my sake, I was asking for my friend's sake, and It wasn't just me pleading, My other friend was aswell) Failed misserbly, He is insistant that he doesn't do dancing and socialising, which sucks really ): He thinks that we were joking when we told him We wanted him to come, but we wern't ): We genually want him to be there.

Anyway, I have to be off because I have french in a few seconds, although I'm quite looking forward to it, because Madame is stuck in Cyprus due to the volcanic ash and stuff, and so we have no idea what we'll be doing or who we'll have.

Ta Ta Mes aimes
x

Long Time No See / Sound Track Of My Life

Well, it's been a while. Due to the not so recent death of my laptop, i've been finding hard to get access to the internet and therefore being unable to blog, which isn't good because I have so much to talk about!

So, about two weeks ago I started talking to my ex boyfriend again. I know what you're thinking "Why in gods name did you do that?" and the answer to that is, I have absolutly no idea! Seriously, I don't know what possesed me. Maybe it was jelousy that my friend was talking to him, or maybe it's because I couldn't hold back much longer, I guess I'll never know.

I landed myself in a big mess when I asked if he would be intrested in a date with my friend. He said no because he never really got over me. So here I am sitting next to my friend thinking ohpoo,ohpoo,ohpoo!!! What am I supposed to say to her? I tell her he didn't text back. I ended up telling her that He did text back but he said no because he has strong feelings for someone else, I couldn't tell her it was me....

So I went to see the Ex after a few nights of soppy text messages to each other and alot of tears and confusion. I'll spare you the messages because you might just be sick on your computer and I don't want that to happen, but I'll tell you that he said that he still loves me and I still love him.

we went out as just friends and let me tell you, it was good to see him again, and just as a friend too because it cleared my head alot. I still love him, but I have much more important things to be worrying about such as school and college to be worrying about a relationship with my Ex right now.

Anyway, I'm going to get onto my soundtrack for this week, because It seems to me that I've neglected it a little.

10) Northern Downpour - Panic! at the Disco

9)What Your Boyfriend Said - Little Man Tate

8)Lithium - Nirvana

7)Poker Face - Lady Gaga (the one on live lounge, not the origonal)

6)Love Song - Four Years Strong

5) Turn It Off - Paramore

4)Same Jeans - The View

3)Read My Mind - The Killers

2)I don't care (this is why we can't have nice things) - The Blackout

and the song of the week this week is....

1) New Shoes - Paolo Nutini

I absolutly love this song, it is like the ultimate feel good song. I just love paolo nutini in general because he has an amazing voice I less than 3 him (l)

and the song of shame this week is....

Party In the U.S.A - Miley Cyrus.
Seriously girl, grow up!

AND stop posting raunchy phtots of yourself on the internet if you want to be respected as a person you just don't do that, it's not right, your supposed to be a girl that smaller girls look up to and be all, "One day I'm gonna be just like Hannah Montana". Yeah I wouldn't want to be like you thanks.

Sound track of my life

Due to the recent death of my laptop, I havn't been able to post a new blog ): isn't that naff? not good at all.

So I had alot of problems picking my favourite songs this week because i just can't pick them. AND it took me a long time to pick a song of shame too! What is the world coming to people?

So anyway, lets give this a shot shall we? I'm doing this differently this time because I'm going to do it like chart style from 10 to 1? get me?

10)New Shoes - Paolo Nutini (every one has heard last request right????)(also, Paolo Nutini is very much SCOTTISH!!!even though his FATHER is of Italian decent)

9)Bad Influence - Pink (good song)

8)Backfire at the Disco - The Wombats (it's very hard not to sing along)

7)Doctor - Cute is What We Aim For

6)Homesick at Spacecamp - Fall Out Boy (they havn't split, their just taking a break for the sake of pete's wife and kid.)

5)How To Save A Life - The Fray (v.v.sad song)

4)I'm Yours - The Script (I L.O.V.E the lyrics to this song)

3)Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade

2)Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan

and the number one for this week is....
drum roll please......1)Pete Wentz Is The Only Reason We're Famous - Cobra Starship (So what you got a crew, I got a Crew too)

and the song of shame for this week is........

I think I Better Leave Right Now - Will Young

Seriously dude, if your going leave, get gone, stop making such a bit fuss out of it, just flipping go, no-one likes you anyway...well, apart from you mum, rachel and lana, and a few mums out there, but apart from that most of the female population think your a dim whitted numpty...which you might be for all I know...I'm not saying you are...put on the photo above you look like a dim whitted numpty.so, just go, stop singing, and if you feel you must sing, sing a good song, and make a good video for it, because you totally confused the world's population with the video for think I better leave right now.

So that conclueds this week's sound track,

till we meet again mes aimes (:

Sound Track Of My Life

well well well... lets get started shall we?
1) Teenage Dirtbag - Wheetus (awesome song, it has to be said!)
2) Children Of The Night - The Backout (it's rather scary at the beginning, but it is AWESOME!)
3) Dakota - A Rocket To The Moon (are you in love with me too?)
4) Everybody's Screaming!!! - Lostprophets (woah woah woah!!!)
5) What I Like About You - Lilix (you really know how to dance!)
6) Hollywood - Cute Is What We Aim For (when the fight for life was in the cival rights.)
7) Last Request - Paolo Nutini (Grant my last request and let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me. Sure I can accept we're going nowhere, but one last time lets go there...)
8) Shooting the Moon - OK Go (good luck with shooting the moon)
9) Undisclosed Desires - Muse (your beauty's not just a mask.)
10) Leave out All the Rest - Linkin Park.

and the song of shame for this week is...........

Under Pressure - Jedward!
Urgh...seriously people, shame on you for even let them getting that far! it's not good! you might as well have just slowly melted my ears away with a birthday candel. how could you do this to the world.
You know what's next don't you....
....an album, is that what you want? is it?
Gah!! ):

Sound Track Of My Life

Well mes aimes, How are you?
I've got to tell you I'm not too good right now...it's got nothing to do with me, not really, these arn't my emotions...I'm not brilliant with handeling people when they get all emotional on me, I tend to blab on and try and make them smile again, like I said, I'm not to good with handeling things like that, and it seems to me that alot of people around me are having alot of problems lately "/it's not good.
So, I'm going to try and lighten the mood.
If you know me well, you'll know that my life revolves around music, I l.o.v.e music! It's just who I am, so I have decided to make a regular blog called "Sound Track Of My Life" where I tell you the songs I've been listening in the past couple of days or so, sometimes they tend to sum up how I've been feeling.Who knows, I might even tell you the songs I've been detesting latly?
So, lets begin...
1) gives you hell - All American Rejects (Basicly, every time I hear this song I smile because i imagine a certain someone seeing me one day and being like "Frick, what did I hurt her for" that gives makes me smile)
2) Havn't met you yet - Micheal Buble (Because I havn't met him yet)
3) Canvas Bags - Tim Minchin (lets do something drastic to rid the world of plastic)
4) I'm Yours - Jason Maraz (It's a feel good song and I like the scatting in it)
5) Fireflies - Owl City (Okay, lets just get one thing straight, I am Not Listening to owl city because it's in the charts, I listen to owl city because because I was meant to be going to see them but the ticket were sold out and now I can't go ): )
6)Don't stop believeing - Journey (Not!!!!! The glee cast!!)
7)Everyday Combat - lostprophets (good song)

and Now I cant think of anything else because grace is kicking me in the back
bye for now (:

Some people just get dealt the crappy cards of life

So, the other day I went out to newcastle with my friends, went to the metro centre and had a pretty good time out. We got the metro home, and I was panicing a bit because the train was going really fast and rocking alot, Cam decided it would be really funny to make me even more scared by saying that we were going to come off the tracks.
Anyway, I was sitting there listening to my iPod trying to ignor the fact that Cam was staring with a scary look on his face to freak me out further. I heard someone drop something and I looked up and saw that the man standing at the metro doors had dropped his book and he was bending over to pick it up, then he started shaking, he couldn't reach his book, he had gone completely white and looked like he was going to collapse. Fortunatly the man sitting down stood up and helped him to a seat and some other people ran up to tell the driver to stop because we needed help. I couldn't help but stare, neither could the rest of the train. I wanted to go up to him and help, but there was nothing I could do. He was taken away and looked after by a nice couple on the Metro. Seeing that made me think about my work's expo, when Rory took a fit, how I was upset just hearing about it, what would I be like if I had to actually deal with it as part of my job? My friend was very comforting and said something that inspired me to write this blog.
"Some people get dealt the bad hand in life, I mean look at you, you've had some pretty crappy card, but look at you now"
Or something to that effect, and It made me thing, yeah some people do get dealt the crappy cards of life, I mean, I was made homeless at the age of 13, but look how I've turned out, I'm happy with life now, I made the most of what I have. Some people get dealt worse cards than others, but you need to just make the best of it, because other wise you'll let it stop you living your life, and that is not the way to go. So go out there and enjoy yourself, no matter your condition, or homelife, because if you let it get to you, your letting it win, and never let anything beat you.

One Day I Will Be a Na'vi

If you havn't been to see Avatar yet I suggest you go right now. Well, not right now, but maybe after you read this blog or something.
I'm not going to go Into the whole story of Avatar and spoil it for you, like I usually do, but I will tell you this, I want to be a really tall blue person who can ride amazing flying creatures and shoot arrows with absolute precision.

One day I will be, a Na'Vi and live in a big tree on Pandora.

There is a reason behind this of course, A strange reason at that, and here it is:

I want to be able to chose my life partner under a tree that will hear me prayers.

Weird isn't it? That a tree can hear and answer your prayers, how odd. It's kinda romantic, and thats how soppy I am, I want to chose my life partner under a sacred tree.

it's not like I'm religous or anything, far from it infact I just like the idea of being joined to your soul mate and love each other for ever.

Ofcourse, it would be nice if he was the perfect Na'vi for me like, someone I can argue with but not upset so much that they don't talk to be for about a month or something, because I must admit, I like a good debate, not a heated on where we're shouting at each other, but a one we can agree and disagree on and talk about and laugh about later on, because that's how light hearted it should be really.

Now I'm stuck on what to write about so I might just end it there.

Reading back on that, this blog was pretty pointless really, but you know me, just a randomer with too much time on her hands.

WOOOOOOOOOT!!

Oh my giddy god's pajammas!!! I got an A in my english Exam and a C in my Maths Exam!!!
Wooooooooooot!
I can't believe it. This is amazing! Their putting me in for higher paper in my next exam in Maths and I only have to do literature in English now!! How amazing is that?
All my friends have done amazingly well too, which makes me even more proud!
But heres a bit of advice to anyone who didn't achieve what they wanted: Don't let it bumm you out. As long as you've tried your best theres not much more anyone could ask of you. And you get to resit, so next time, maybe take a little bit longer to revise, and when I say revise I don't been stare at the revision book and hope to absorb the contents, but read it, practise and ask for help when you need it.
Do you think I got my passes by staring at the computer screen and thinking "yeah, I should maybe revise now....hmm maybe later...".
Nope, Well okay, I must admit I do that sometime but hey I'm only human. What I'm saying is that when you get that feeling, finish the thought with "Actually, I think I will..." and pick up that book, pick up your reading specs, turn off the laptop/computer and phone and get studying, because that is the only way your going to pass, unless ofcourse your superwoman/man and you can do anything without trying, or your my brother who seems to be able to do anything without revising.
So if it's alright with you, I'm going to do some french revision now and cross my fingers and hope to god I don't die next lesson.

It's in my biology

"I once considered taking A level biology, but Satan's Bitch went and crushed my dreams"
Okay, so I've never been fond of science, but biology. I used to be in a higher set but because I was having problems with my chemestry teacher I chose to be moved down in all my science classes.
Biology used to be my favourite science lesson, mainly because I understood it, but now, because of Satan's Bitch, I now dread going to biology and look forward to going to physics and chemestry. In fact, the tables have turned because I used to like biology and detest chemestry.
So, I've just found out that I'm on an E in science, which didn't make sense at first because I have the highest marks in the class, but because I missed 3 exams due to my holiday my mark is not quite as good as it should be. I thought that holidays were meant to be good for you, but mine just screwed me for life really.
It's about time I stop complaining isn't it?
Actually no, OWL CITY HAS SOLD OUT!! not fair!! I was meant to be going as part of my birthday present off Amy, but they sold out before she could get the tickets!! GAH!
Okay, now I'll stop complaining.
What I really wanted to talk about today is secrets.
Weird huh? I guess your thinking "what? why?"
Well this is something that has been playing on my mind since a big argument I had with my mam a while back, that got me kicked out of the house for three-four days.
When me and my mother had this argument I kinda got kicked out and kinda left out of my own will. I went to stay with my dad for a while and alot of secrets came spilling out when the flood gates were opened. I was told things that I won't repeat on here, mainly for privicy.
It's weird when your told something that you really didn't expect to happen, when the past gets dug up from where it was resting nicely and is ripped apart and every thing is revealed. I had to stop my self from loathing my mother. I don't loath her. I didn't like her very much at the time, because of what I was told, but I didn't loath her.
I'm not sure if I've told anyone what was said, I think maybe because It's painful to remember the turth to actually say it out loud.
This is where I contradict my self again isn't it, because I remember once saying it's always better to tell people your problems and get it out of your system, but now, I'm not too sure.
If I told anyone, surly it would just make it worse? so that's why I keep it to myself, even when I'm arguing with my mother and I'm dying to word vomit the past onto her, things that she never thought I'd find out.

So, I havn't been very helpful or anything today, which is my main goal in blogging even if my blogs arn't that useful anyway, sorry about that.

Untill we meet again my buds (:

Well, happy new year to you :D

It's been a while hasn't it? I guess my mind has been blank for longer than I thought, but I've thought of something to write!

a short while ago I looked at my thumb and it reminded me of something that I thought was long forgotten. I asked a friend if her thumb had ever reminded her of something, she said no but her foot had. So I felt slight less insane.

I thought I would forget soon enough what I was reminded of, I really thought it would be for the best, but I didn't forget, and I still havn't fogotten.

Lying in bed crying, I thought I would do anything to forget, but thinking about it now, maybe It's best not to forget. Learn from your misktakes and everthing right?

Sometimes you percieve things wrong. I thought I was going through the worst time of my life and then I remembered my past and thought
"You know what? I'm strong than this."
I dried my eyes and listened to my iPod remembering everything I once thought I wanted to forget. I've realised that no matter how crappy things might seem, you should always be able to look back, and think, 'I did it, I moved past it'.

Waking up in the morning I went about my normal routine, and yeah, I might have seemed a bit haunted in a way, but I was just pleased that I was strong enough to get on with life, instead of letting it stop me in my tracks and spoil my life.