Theres something wrong with me

I can't put my finger on it, I can't understand why I'm feeling like utter crap.

Well, theres been a few things, boys, mothers, exams, you know, the usual, but I've never been this down and out about it all before, I've never not wanted to be around the people I love, I've never wanted to stay in bed all day and hope to god that no one tries to get me out, I've never wanted to sit on my own and cry.

But here I am doing all of thee above, and I have no logical explanation to why I am doing it.

It sucks, that's all I can say, so here is a playlist of the songs that are tearing me up inside at the minute.

miserable at best - mayday parade
for the first time - the script
fucking perfect - pink
runnaway - pink
just the way you are - bruno mars (don't ask, too much detail to it!)
always attract - you me at six

and basically I've been listening to thse on a loop, and I know that the logical solution is to just stop listening to them and listen to something more uplifting, but you know when you're just not in the mood to listen to anything else, so it looks like I'm stuck with these for a while

Oh to be beautiful

I don't care what anyone says, Tyra Banks was just as beautiful before she lost loads of weight. In my opinion, you don't have to be skinny to be beautiful.

The other day I was made to buy a crop top. Now people who know me know that I'm no size 8 super model, so needless to say I was abrehensive about getting it because I'm not all too keen on showing a bit of flesh, and even now I'm wearing it thinking "can I really pull this off?"
But realistically, I'm not hanging over my jeans, infact, my jeans are too big for me, and although I'm not all that toned, I'm not exactly round, and I'm proud of my curves, so the answer is yes, I can pull it off.

People have told me in the past that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. My beholder tells me I'm beautiful whenever he gets the chance, and although I don't offen believe him, it gives you quite the confidence boost, and as soon as that confidence is injected into me, I feel far better about myself, I don't feel as big, or dry skinned, or limp haired, I feel like I'm loved because of who I am, I feel like I've grown into my body and now I suit it, I can't see myself anyother way.

so I guess that the key to beauty is confidence. You can be as big or small as you like and you'll still be beautful.
:)