Being The Common Denominator

I'm not perfect. Nor have I ever claimed to be, but today, I discovered one of my most major flaws. I always blame everyone but myself. You're probably thinking that I'm the worst kind of person for that. I always think I'm the victim, no matter what the situation is.

As of late, I've been arguing a lot with my boyfriend and my brother, two of the most important men in my life, and I'm ruining everything. My brother has already pretty much divorced me as a sibling, and I feel like when I'm arguing with my boyfriend, I'm pushing him ever closer to ending the relationship with me. But even though I've often thrown my hands up and said 'Yes I said bad things. No I'm not an angel', I've always blamed the other person for the conflict.

I hate myself for this, and I'm going to try and change it, but I don't have much faith in myself. There's been many a time when I've told myself that I'm going to change because I'm being self destructive and I'm hurting others, but here I am telling myself the exact same thing for the umpteenth time.

I know that people argue, it's just a fact of life that you're not going to get on with everyone 100% of the time, but the amount of times that I'm in tears because I believe that the people who are around me are absolute tossers is ridiculous. It's time to realise that if I'm having so many conflicts with people so often, then maybe it's time that I did something about the common denominator, which just so happens to be yours truly.

So yes, this has been a whiny blog, once again. I apologise, I'll try not to fall into old habits, because I know that's VERY annoying.

Anyway, I promise that I'll try to be a little more optimistic in my next blog, the operative word being try.

Thanks for letting my have my rant, you may now go forth and forget this pointless text!

All my best.

She's back and there's a moral to the story...sort of

Being a teenager is never easy, I'm pretty sure everyone would agree. With so many raging hormones and every little problem being a disaster, many teenagers think that they have the worst life ever. With coming to nearly the end of my teenage years, I've realised that every little thing that I've been through as been a learning experience. I mean, everyone has a bit of drama in their life, without it we would be sitting around bored off our tits, twiddling our thumbs wondering when we're ever going to get off our backsides and do something. With every episode of our real life dramas in our teenage years, we can learn and grow into the adults that we want to become.

 I know better than anyone that we take our parents for granted, and even after realising this, I still do it, but I know that I'm going to shape my life and the person that I am around the big old people I've watched over the years. We can decide what traits we want to take on, and the ones we could live without. We can grow up and have kids and decided how to bring them up, whether we'll copy what our parents did or try a whole new technique.

 I know that this all sounds very melodramatic coming from and 18 year old (yeah I know, it's been THAT long) but I wonder, if I hadn't of figured all this out now, when would it have happened? I mean, I know I'm always going to be this immature, silly, over sensitive little girl, some times I feel as though I'm still 10 years old, but if I don't start growing up now, when will it happen? It's time to buckle down and start thinking about my future, what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. University is a big step, but if we don't move up and out, then where will we go?

 Anyway, that's my rant over for today. I've really missed blogging, and I didn't even realise it until I started tapping away at my laptop, who knows, maybe I'm back to stay?