Being The Common Denominator

I'm not perfect. Nor have I ever claimed to be, but today, I discovered one of my most major flaws. I always blame everyone but myself. You're probably thinking that I'm the worst kind of person for that. I always think I'm the victim, no matter what the situation is.

As of late, I've been arguing a lot with my boyfriend and my brother, two of the most important men in my life, and I'm ruining everything. My brother has already pretty much divorced me as a sibling, and I feel like when I'm arguing with my boyfriend, I'm pushing him ever closer to ending the relationship with me. But even though I've often thrown my hands up and said 'Yes I said bad things. No I'm not an angel', I've always blamed the other person for the conflict.

I hate myself for this, and I'm going to try and change it, but I don't have much faith in myself. There's been many a time when I've told myself that I'm going to change because I'm being self destructive and I'm hurting others, but here I am telling myself the exact same thing for the umpteenth time.

I know that people argue, it's just a fact of life that you're not going to get on with everyone 100% of the time, but the amount of times that I'm in tears because I believe that the people who are around me are absolute tossers is ridiculous. It's time to realise that if I'm having so many conflicts with people so often, then maybe it's time that I did something about the common denominator, which just so happens to be yours truly.

So yes, this has been a whiny blog, once again. I apologise, I'll try not to fall into old habits, because I know that's VERY annoying.

Anyway, I promise that I'll try to be a little more optimistic in my next blog, the operative word being try.

Thanks for letting my have my rant, you may now go forth and forget this pointless text!

All my best.